Day 2: balance.

ok. i'm probably not gonna get to work out today either. Phooey. i'm still dealing with nausea and dizziness which means i'm likely to hurt myself if i try to work out. i'm struggling to balance motivating myself with listening to my body. tomorrow is my scheduled day off for the week, so i'm gonna start this for real on Friday. i'll probably be running a little behind where i want for my 3/3 goal, but better that than injured. sigh.

food.

if you know me, you know that i am relatively conscious of what i eat. i always tell everyone- and it;s true- that i don't have a food problem- i could lose this weight by exercising consistently without changing my diet at all. But, it'll probably come off a lot faster if i am a little more aware of what i'm eating and when. "Dieting" doenst work for me. eating healthy is a lifestyle choice and a matter of being intentional. when i start losing weight (because. yes, i
ve been down this road a number of times...) i only really count calories the first week or so, to make sure that i'm really eating what i think i am. as a recovering bulimorexic with obsessive tendencies, it;s really not healthy for me to constantly obsess over everything i put in my mouth- it's downright dangerous. so- though i think they are SO useful- i do not keep a food journal or track my food after week 1. for me it's a matter of making sure i have multiple healthy options in the house for each meal and snacks. this morning i sat down and made a quick list with 7-10 options for each meal (knowing i'll come up with more on the fly) that are healthy and blanced to support my fitness goals. then i made a grocery list to make sure i have what i need for these meals in the house. surrounding myself with "friendly" foods makes it possible to indulge in a few reduced fat oreos or a bowl of ice cream on a day i've had a good workout.

Day 1: The best laid plans...

i didn't manage to work out last night. shortly after lunch my stomach got really upset and i ended up taking a loooong nap. i slept thru when my pilates class was supposed to be, which really stunk. not the roaring start i was hoping for, and the nap set me up to be wide awake till 2:30 am, which kept me in bed till 11 am- missing my 8 am pilates class. lovely. now, this isnt all doom and gloom like it sounds. it;s frustrating, but it's life. the point is to get out of bed and do what i can with the day ahead of me. which i am. :-)

Wakeup Call/Starting place

ok. i haven't felt good about my weight/fitness level ina loooong time. but last friday i had a huge wakeup call. i saw this picture:
it's a great pic in that i love the girls in it, the girl that took it, and it was a great retreat. but i look at myself and i don't see me. i see someone fat and yick and unhealthy. i know i'm my worst critic and all but this picture brought me to tears. i thought i was doing ok at keeping the weight off. i haven't made it to the gym since early december because of health and stuff and i thought well i won't lose weight but i can maintain, right? umm no. i weighed myself yesterday (monday, 2/8)morning and discovered i'd gained back 11 lbs since i was last at the gym. this brings me to the second point of this blog post- where i am starting from.

• Weight: 200 lbs. (down 25 from highest/up 50 from goal)
• Waist: 36 inches (even with highest/8 inches from goal)
• Hip: 45 in (down 1 inch from highest/9 inches from goal)
• Thigh: 25 inches: (down 1 in from highest/8 in from goal)
• Arm (thickest point of upper arm): 13 inches (3.5 inches from goal)

So. the plan is to start this week working out M/T/W/F/Sa/Su.

Goals:

• lose 50 lbs and 28.5 inches by May 18 (14 weeks from today)
• lose 15 lbs and be a size 12 by March 3 (3 weeks from tomorrow)

Plan:

• Week 1: 2 classes m/w and one class each on T/F/Sa/Su
• Week 2: classes same as above but adding 30 min cardio
• Week 3: same as above but 45 min cardio
• Week 4-14 same as above with 60 min cardio.
  

RAR!

fighting to win this time.

Hey. If you've known me any length of time, you know that my weight and health have been a struggle my entire adult life. Guys, I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. i've been fed up with my situation before, but i am at a point now where i have realized how much time i'm wasting by being tired all the time- aside from being frustrated with how i look. so. here we are. a new decade, a new chance to get this right. Scott is totally behind me and i am so thankful for that. even as i type this i'm freakin exhausted. this has got to end. it ends NOW.