Looking at September

We are back from our wonderful vacation and I'm determined and motivated to make September a great month! There are a few part of this, and I'm gonna share and gather my thoughts here for myself and for you! 😜

Breastfeeding: more sleep! 

Declan is still nursing exclusively (no bottles, woohoo!) and I'm slowly weaning myself off the pump so not to lose my supply (vacation has me temporarily trying to boost it back at the moment!) I have stopped pumping at night, and even though this leads to more interrupted sleep, I think once I'm used to it, it will lead to much more and better sleep for me. More/better sleep means more energy and hopefully benefits for my fitness journey. 

Eating clean!

I'm ready to really clean things up around here, and commit to eating as clean  as I can, meaning cutting processed foods and as much sugar as possible. This will bring much more produce into my life and I'm really looking forward to the energy boost from that. I'm going to be keeping my food diary again, and hopefully I'll get the hang of eating enough pretty quickly. 

No alcohol this month! 

I'm going to abstain from alcohol entirely this month. I don't drink heavily anyway, but I'm gonna take the month off from my wine anyway, and see if it gives me a little weight loss boost. I may or may not allow red wine again sometimes in October.

Finishing Body Revolution!

I'm starting the final 4 weeks of this round of JMBR, and gearing up for BodyShred in October. I'm excited for that, and really want to start as strong as I can. 

Depression: 

August was a really bad month for my PPDA and I'm really hoping September is better. I'm going to spend more time having devotions, praying, and caring for myself. I'm also going to look into the possibility of group and individual therapy. 

Goals: 

The big goal for the month is to be comfortable in my size 8 skinnies by the time I start BodyShred, and it's a doozy from where I sit now. I'm gonna hit it hard and eat great though, and see if I can't hit it! The goal timeline will stay the same looking ahead, even if I take an extra couple weeks to hit this one. 

The other fitness goal is to be doing 4 sets of 25 push ups outside of my workouts twice a week by 10/5- I think this is doable, especially since I did 4 sets 18 today! 

Here's where I'm starting the month: 

Waist:31

Hips: 41

Thigh: 22.5

I'd like to lose an inch off each by the end  of the month. Don't know how doable, but it's a goal! 

That's what I'm looking at for this month... Let's do this! 

Reflection on my new goals and the journey ahead

So, this morning I found myself kinda "in my feelings" about where my body is right now and how overwhelming the road ahead feels. I've broken it into totally doable goals...I think. I keep telling myself, "hey, so you're not where you want to be right now, but think of where you will be a year from now! That thought blows my mind! I went from a size 14 to a 4 in 7 months, so if I'm a size 10 now, I could be a pretty ripped and shredded mama a year from now! That's the thing-the size 4 isn't a destination, it's a major milestone, and I don't want to be smaller, but it's also a jumping off point to achieve greatness too. From there I want to pursue yoga poses and strength I have never seen before, I want my RYT 200,  I want to reach new levels of performance in spin class, i want to go hiking with my husband and not be dragging behind him. 

So, how do we eat an elephant? It's gotta be one day at a time, one goal at a time. I'll keep an eye on the mid-term goal, which is those size 4 jeans, but I can only try to conquer what's right in front of me. 

Right now that's a pair of size 8 shorts I want to wear on vacation next week. They just about fit. I'm going to finish out this week of workouts, drink my dandelion/cranberry/lemon drink, and enjoy my vacation and recovery week.  Then I will come home with a renewed commitment to:

-Eat clean--it's far to easy to buy processed stuff, and snack all the time, especially as a mom of 2 bitties. But, no. As a rule, we are all going to do better about this. 

-track what I'm eating-- this is to serve two purposes: to make sure I'm eating enough, and to reassure me when I'm starving in the evening that I have eaten enough. Not eating enough has been historically my biggest weight loss barrier. 

-stick to eating only at mealtime. It's easy to use breastfeeding as a reason to snack, but my metabolism will thank me if I don't. What I need to do is make my 4 meals a day big enough to use all my calories. 

- start walking again. The fresh air will do wonders for clearing my head and for the kids. The plan is to walk for 45-60 min, then hit the playground as often as weather allows. 

-wean off pumping. Declan hasn't had a bottle in 2.5 weeks, so I'm basically pumping to keep supply steady while he really adjusts to having to work harder for his food. Hopefully by the end of September we can be in enough of a rhythm that I can have that time back. I imagine the freedom and reduced stress will be a huge benefit. All the cortisol can't be helping. 

All these things should help me reach my next goal: my size 8 skinny jeans by 10/5. That's just under 7 weeks from now, after completing Body Revolution and taking a recovery week. I feel like it's totally doable if I stay committed to the above. 

Then, I'll do my first round of BodyShred and hopefully end that 12 weeks wearing my size 6 jeans when we go to Nebraska for Christmas. 

In January I plan to do a Whole30 and a month of potpourri workouts before my second round of BodyShred to finish in late March, and ending with Size 4 jeans. 

After that, the focus shifts to performance as I work through a couple months of master training and yoga. Maybe I'll even see my abs by summer! 

That's the plan, and it's beyond reasonable if I stick to my guns.one pant size every 3 months? Considering I've lost one every month for 5 months before, I think so.  Notice what word isn't in any of those goals,? "Weigh." Because the scale isn't an accurate measure of progress for me. I'll weigh myself from time to time, but I'm much more interested in the number in my jeans, though I won't be defined by it. 

Our Breastfeeding Journey: the current chapter, 8/15

So, we've come a long way through nipple shields, tongue tie, syringes, bottles, timers, waking constantly throughout the night, and lots and lots of pumping. Okay, so there's still a lot of that last one going on. 

Last week sometime, Declan had a hiccup in his seemingly magical progress in nursing, and started pulling off and screaming a few minutes into every feeding. He, like the rest of us, was and is adjusting to the new schedule, and we still haven't quite figured out nap logistics where I'm not holding him and he's not being bothered by Lexi, so he's been very overtired. That might explain this behavior, but it still wasn't fun. Add to that that he had also decided he didn't want to take a bottle anymore, and you have a mama who started to freak out a little about whether he's getting enough milk. 

I decided that all I can really do is offer milk at regular intervals and respond to any requests between. I can't make him eat, and trying to is only going to make it worse. So I fed him, I pumped, and I had Scott offer him bottles, most of which he rejected. It's Tuesday noon, and he hasn't taken a bottle since Saturday around this time. 

On one hand, this is what I really want-no more bottles, and ultimately no more pumping. At the moment, though, it's making me a little nervous. He's at least mostly stopped the freaking out while eating, and I feel like he's eating pretty efficiently overall.  I'm feeding him at least every 2-3h, and more often when he seems interested and pumping as often as I'm able after.  I'm also doing all I can to get him naps, though it may take awhile to get that sorted. He has plenty of diapers and is a happy  camper so I'm going to work with him and not worry. .modt of all, I'm not going to fall back into the obsession about it with weight checks and timing and stress. It may take a little time, but we will figure this out together and it's gonna be great, because we will be exactly where I want once we do!