My Nephew Peter

So, on September 11, 1982, a baby boy was born who would grow to be the love of my life. How fitting that it was on the same date (32 years later) that another young man who would make my heart swell in ways that were new to even this emotional soul would make his entrance?

If you've followed our story this year you know that there has been a lot of emotion and sadness wrapped up in the word and month September for me, and particularly for the second week of the month, when the baby we lost would have been born. God works through our pain to bring beautiful things though. My Sister in Law Megan (yes, we have the same name. ;-)) shared what was my due date of Sept 9, and I just wasn't sure how I'd  feel if the baby came that day. But he didn't. He came 2 days later, right on time, to share a birthday with my favorite man on earth. 

We were leaving my doctor's office after a great checkup, hearing baby's heartbeat, and just feeling great, when Scott asked me (cautiously) if I was ready to go see the baby. Surprisingly to both of us, I was, and I was even excited! When we arrived at the door to their hospital room, I took a deep breath to prepare myself for whatever feels would come, but NEVER could I have been prepared for what I felt when Peter was placed in my arms. I fell in love. My heart swelled. I was healed. I cried, and could only blubber to Mike "he's so beautiful." Over and over. Any pain I expected never came. God set up a perfect morning to show me so much, about our baby and also just the magic of being an aunt to this sweet little man, who just by being him and looking just a teeny bit like his 2 year old cousin, healed something in me that I never expected. The pain of September is no more. I still feel sad for the loss, but I don't feel pain or anger, for the first time in almost 9 months. God used a boy not 12 hours old to do that, and I am so thankful. 

As a bonus, Lexi got to love on him too, and hear him cry (yay practice!) and even repeatedly tried to take and hold him herself! 

Just a few pics: 

Aaaah! Update! (16 weeks)

Ok, it's been far too long since I've updated. Let's just say it was an eventful month. The day after our 12 week appointment, we found out our dear (if not super close in recent years) friend Patrick Holyfield was days away from passing away from a fast moving and agressive cancer. Four days after that, he did. That week (and really, the few following it too) was/were brutal, and kicked up my anxiety, which had been less of a battle this time up to that point. I'm triggered, I've discovered by intense negative emotion, even unrelated, to fear for the baby, and this was a big issue. Then, I tried my new pregnancy workout, and had some after effects that weren't a cause for alarm, but made me feel anxious, so I've taken it a bit easier other than walking the past couple weeks. I plan on working the yoga back in and returning to my walks at the gym too. 

My doctor had said I *could* expect to feel the baby move as early as 14 weeks, and since then, I've been on high alert, and maybe a little bit desperate to start feeling what we in our home call "the bomps" . I think I've felt something fairly distinctive at least once or twice, but obviously at 16.5 weeks it's still early and baby is still pretty tiny (about 5 inches long) so, I'm trying to be patient and exercise my trust muscles. 

We had our 16 week appt last Friday (9/12/14) and it went perfectly. Belly is growing, blood pressure is good, and best of all, baby has a big healthy heartbeat! Yaaaaaay! Something else awesome happened that same morning, but it/he deserves his own post. 

Here's a couple pics! 

15 weeks:

16 weeks: