A New Treatment Plan

These products are the newest step and effort in my treatment of and recovery from PPDA. I've done lots of reading, and found that deficiencies in B12 and general inflammation (helped to heal by high potency EPA and the right probiotics) can cause or exacerbate mental health issues. 

So here's the plan: 

Morning/breakfast: 1 tsp B12/1 Tbsp Omega Swirl (plus other supplements I normally take)

Between Breakfast and lunch: probiotic

Lunch: (after week 1) Omega Swirl (plus normal supplements) 

Dinner (normal supplements)

Bedtime: magnesium drink

I'm also transitioning my fitness regimen to be more yoga focused even as I pursue building strength and endurance with Jillian and cycle- I need the mind/body connection and all the mental health balancing effects of my favorite workout. 

I'm really hoping to see some improvements in the next 2-6 weeks, and eventually, when I'm better, I can reduce the omegas to a maintenance dose. 

I've realized recently that my body has been through a LOT hormonally in the last almost six years. Just to start, I have PCOS, which, even though I have learned to manage it well, keeps my hormones all kinds of whacked out, as evidenced by the fact that I ALWAYS have more facial hair than most teenage boys, I've never had a menstrual cycle less than 36 days, and anxiety and depression have been my companions to some degree as long as I can remember. 

Then, this has been the past 6 years: 

January-august 2011--- charting and TTC naturally 

Sept 2011: progesterone and month one Clomid

October 2011: progesterone and double the dose clomid- Lexi conceived! YAY 

Oct 2011-July 2012: pregnant with Lexi

July 2012-November 2013-Nursing Lexi 

December 2013-January 2014 nursing lexi AND Pregnant with September Baby

January 2014: lost September Baby, kept nursing lexi till late February 

February 2014: weaned lexi 

April 2014: month 1 clomid 

May/ June 2014: month 2 clomid- Declan Concieved YAY

June 2014-Feb 2015- pregnant with Declan 

March 2015-December 2016-nursing Declan and PPDA 

December 2016: weaned Declan Still have PCOS

Now, obviously that's not the biggest hormonal roller coaster anyone has ever ridden, but it's really taken a lot out of me, and seeing all that mapped out has given me some perspective on what it might take to heal.

*BTW: I chose the Barleans Omega Swirl for two reasons: the taste (like a smoothie!) and the 910mg EPA per serving. 

Fitness update

Oh my stars it's been so long since I've blogged about fitness. I barely know where to begin. 

Let's start here. I've broken up with the scale. Part of this is because I have a new scale, and my old one is the one I used for my entire journey up till it broke shortly after D was born, and was therefore a consistent measure for what it was worth, which was not as much as other measures. But then it broke and we didn't replace it till last May. So we have problems-one, there is a huge gap in time, so it's not like I stepped on one scale and it gave me data and then the other and it gave me data to compare and account for a discrepancy. So the second problem is from that-how do I know how much weight I lost in the year between weighing myself? According to the new scale- NOTHING-in a a year. Seriously, I weighed in at 181 a few weeks postpartum and when we got the new scale it said I weighed 181. So. I do know I had lost about a pant size (which was very unsatisfactory but it was what it was.) now, as of the last time I weighed, (a week or so ago-just to see) I had lost TEN lbs-in Ten months. Aaaaaaargh! But here's the thing: I've gone down from a 10 to almost a 4 in jeans in that time. And again, I don't know the discrepancy between scales. Maybe when the old scale said I weighed 161 this one would have said 171- the scale at my Dr always read 10lbs different, so it's possible. The last time I was wearing these jeans (3 years ago) I weighed about 156. Super close to my lowest ever. So, yeah, I got nothing.

I'm definitely gaining muscle definition and strength which is awesome. My belly still drives me bananas but that's possibly not ever going to change. Haha! My mental health stuff (another post I'm to exhausted to even contemplate but need to) is wearing me out but I'm fighting for consistency-first in sleep and fitness at the same time, then working getting up early and adding daily house work back in. Fitness and sleep are The essential building blocks. 

This month I'm doing the same thing I did in March 2014, alternating a heavy strength day with a yoga day, and getting on my bike (using the Peloton app) T/Th/Sa. In April I'll probably keep the same formula but change the workouts. More on that when I decide. 

Here's some pics of where I'm at now. 

As you can see, I'm further towards #ropesngunsnabs than I'm giving myself credit for.  Side by side progress pics coming early April! 

Duckling turns two.

Declan, D-Zilla, D, D Monster, Bub, Bubby, Bubster, my Baby Duck. I can't believe you're two-I kinda don't want to. You're not a baby anymore, and that is both heartbreakingly sad, and very exciting to me. You're probably my last baby, biologically, anyway, and so, admitting you're a full on toddler and boy, is the end of the sweetest season I've known, and one I waited for so long, it's really hard to see it end so quickly. 

You're still little, though, and you still need your "Mama Mama!" For quite a bit. I've definitely babied you more than Lexi in some ways, but that's okay. You're my sweet boy-made of sweetness, love, and serendipity. You surprise me every day. You're a boy of few words but a great communicator even so. You fill my day with smiles and laughter and, if I pay attention, just...magic. You are magic. It's in your sparkling eyes, your whispers, your arm around me like you're gonna take care of me-a little man. You're the most empathetic lil dude-if I am sitting quietly, or resting my head on my hand-if I seem even a bit unhappy-you notice immediately and come over to console me with a hug and a gentle "Heeeeyyyyy..." Oh, my Sweet One, never lose that tenderness. It's beautiful and rare in a man.

You're equally protective and kind to your sister if she is sad or hurt. Oh how you love "Sis!"  You squeal with joy if you hear her coming, you cover her in hugs and kisses, and you play like the best of friends. You're starting to stand up to her too, which is fantastic. Lexi is a very strong personality, and though you are very laid back, lately, you know how to draw a line. Thankfully, even when she frustrates you, you're very quick to forgive. You want to be where she is and do what she does as much as you can. 

You love to read. I think if I could sit in our chair and read you board books all day, you'd just be in heaven. You love Boynton books, little blue truck, and your Barney book the best. 

Lexi has been doing school almost all your life, and recently you've been itching to participate, so I've started giving you a coloring sheet and a little one in one focus while she does her writing each morning. It's only been a few days so far, but I already treasure those moments and the excitement you have to color and learn. 

You also love to dance. Laurie Berkner, hand Clap, and uptown funk really get you moving! It's adorable the way you ask us for music by pointing to the Amazon Echo. 

Declan, you are more than I ever dreamed, and I'm so thankful God gave me you, my sweet, tender hearted, playful child. Happy Birthday, Darling Duckling. 🐥