This is not a pregnancy announcement.

It's an exercise I'm doing to document this process and this time in our lives. One of the tools I'm using during this "waiting time" is visualization. I'm a worrywart, and easily discouraged, so I'm going to start talking to our Baby Two now, possibly (probably) before he or she has even been conceived. I can't dream another baby into existence, but if I think of pregnancy/meeting this child as a "when" rather than an "if", hopefully a lot of fear will be diminished. So. Here goes. 

Dear Baby Two

Today I'm wondering if you're already growing inside me. I've been very tired the past few days, and a little nauseous and moody too. I've had a few other signs that something *might* be going on too, and I'm not sure how to feel about them. It gives me hope and yet I don't want to hope *too* much and be heartbroken. So, today and every day, little one, I'm going to pray. For you, whenever God decides to give you to us, that your body and systems will be healthy and strong.  for me, in the meantime, that God will make my body a ready and healthy place for you to grow, that He will make my heart focused on Him and joyful and content with the many blessings he's given me-like your Daddy and your wonderful beautiful sister. You will love Lexi, little one. She is sweet, funny, smart, and brave. I know she will love you too. Whenever you meet her.