I have no idea what's going on. I don't know what to do based on any of it. I'm mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted, and I crave clarity.
One of three things is going on:
1. My period is coming, but really taking it's time. Would be a little disappointing, but a step in the right direction.
2. I'm pregnant and things are going well, but it was too early to test on 1/4. Best case scenario.
3. I'm pregnant but a loss is imminent. Worst case. I know God is sovereign, but this would be devastating.
My period is now two weeks "late". Since I've never had a cycle regular enough to predict anything, I don't know what late is for me. I don't know if or when I ovulated. Here's what I do know.
-I've been feeling since around Christmas that I could be pregnant based on a number of small things adding together.
-after 4.5 months of losing 1-3 lbs every single week, I've been stuck for 3 weeks, despite no changes in my diet or exercise . This could mean I need to change something, it could mean I'm close to the end, it could be a few different things hormonally...
-my digestion is all confused. Lots of gas, infrequent BMs.
-I'm having a few times a day what I call "belly feels"- uterine cramps/contractions that are not painful, and along with them tingling sensations in other areas that I've only ever experienced early in my pregnancy with Lexi.
-I'm not spotting or bleeding at all with these cramps, even after a workout. Many Other times since Lexi, every time I'd work out there would be spotting and light cramping, but not for weeks.
-my performance in cycle class last week was far worse than it's been in months. This could be due to all the emotional turmoil, but it bears noting.
-mood swings( again, could be many things)
-vivid dreams every night.
-I'm tired. So tired I've gone back to bed rather than work out two days in a row. Took a 3h nap yesterday, still went to bed on time, and needed more sleep this morning.
In light of all this I'm really trying to live my life normally and not dwell on what could be, and at the same time, make decisions that would be wise if I'm not alone. I've cut back on coffee, and am trying to figure out a balance for exercise, at least till things become clear. It makes me nervous doing all the Plyo in JMBR, and when I get dizzy doing any exercise-that's new too.
I'm trying to be wise, but also walk by faith. At some point, God will make this clear one way or the other, right?
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