So...I'm wondering

It's way too soon in the cycle to suspect pregnancy in a concrete way, but I'll admit I'm having bursts of excited hope!  Last week (ovulation week) my performance in cycle was not what it has been, which I expected to a degree. However, the lightheadedness, shortness of breath, elevated heart rate, craving for beef, insane dreams, and other stuff has me hoping against hope. 

It's scary when I start to feel excited, because even trying to get pregnant feels like opening my shirt and painting a target over my heart. I'm really seeking God in the struggle every day though, and asking him for strength, patience, hope, and a healthy baby growing inside me who we can hold and love this coming winter.