Declan's Birth Story

Every child is different, and I guess that starts early. My pregnancy with Declan was different from that with Lexi in as many ways as it was similar, and his labor and birth followed that pattern. 

Around 9pm on February 28, Scott and I started watching the movie Zardoz, and I think I'll always associate that bizarre film with Declan's birth, because it was confusing and surreal and the perfect backdrop to what began 30 minutes into watching it. I began feeling what I thought was Declan stretching in my belly, and thought, "if you want more room, I've got an idea on how you can get some..." This continued through the whole movie, and I thought nothing of it, and certainly didn't recognize it as a pattern of contractions! We went to bed around 1 AM, and he was still "stretching" fairly often, and because of this and the pelvic pain I'd  been experiencing the past few months, I didn't sleep well. Around 3am I got up to use the bathroom, and suddenly it clicked that these were contractions. I don't know why it took me so long. I got in the bathtub around 4, and they were starting to get a bit more intense at this point, but not yet bad enough I considered them painful. After my bath, I had a glass of orange juice, and lay down to enjoy the baby kicks, knowing that phase of our relationship was coming to a close. Around 530 I started timing the contractions, and they were about 6-8 min apart but still not very intense, and stayed that way for about 5 hours, when they  slowed way down, and at the advice of Alli and Scott, I decided to take a nap. When I woke around 1 PM, I was very discouraged, because this was reminding me of my labor with Lexi, which was so very long and exhausting, and I was afraid this wasn't really "it" after all. I cried a few minutes, then Scott and Lexi came in an cuddled and prayed with me. A few minutes later the contractions started up again and this time were closer to 5 minutes apart fairly consistently, with a few longer stretches, and by 430 I was ready for Alli to come and help me evaluate when it was time to go to the hospital and just be with me while I labored. It was a good stretch of time of consistent contractions that were getting closer and slowly more intense. Eventually my mom arrived (I have no idea What time it was, just that I was in the tub, and lexi sounded elated to see her!)and joined the party, and awhile after that, we all decided things were not progressing fast enough that going to the hospital would be productive yet-since I wasn't yet in need of any pain management, and we'd go to the hospital at 7 AM no matter what. So Alli went home to rest, and I planned on doing the same, except there was no rest for me. We convinced Max, Scott's best friend, (who had an adorably inaccurate impression of what labor was like) to come over and hang out awhile, and help keep my spirits up. Still slowly, but steadily, the pain began to intensify, though I was able to laugh and joke between contractions, and by midnight, when I finally agreed to go to bed, it was becoming unbearable. I decided to take a shower and see if that would slow things down so I could rest(like it did with Lexi!) and that ended up backfiring majorly. I was in the shower about 10 minutes and had 3 incredibly intense (to the point I'm almost in tears 2 weeks later remembering) contractions in that time. I had another with  Scott holding me while getting dressed, and when I finally lay down in bed, I had the most painful and long contraction so far. I lay there moaning through contractions 3-5 minutes apart for the next two hours before I told Scott that there was no way I could rest and I needed to get to the hospital and get an epidural so I could finally sleep (this was night 2 of being awake in labor, and already far more pain than I ever experienced in my whole labor with Lexi )or else I would not be strong enough to get him out. So, through the contractions we got up, dressed, called Alli, and out the door. My mama was so sweet and wanted to help however she could. I was and am so glad she was here and part of the whole story! I remember being deliriously amused that Scott grabbed our redbox rentals to return on the way. They didn't get returned, because it was clear I just needed to get to the hospital when we had to pause and work through 2 contractions between our door and the car.    The roads were very still and quiet at 230 or so in the morning, and probably because of the contractions, it seemed a much faster trip than ever before. I remember utter relief that we found a parking spot directly in front of the ER, and started bawling when, I guess having seen me working through a contraction in the doorway, the ER receptionist met us with a wheelchair. We sat/stood there what Scott says was a long time waiting to be admitted, and I'm thankful for whatever time was saved by my pre-registration a few weeks before! The nurse or CNA or whatever she was that took my vitals  as I was admitted was terribly rude. She fired questions at me and if I was working through a contraction and couldn't answer she was impatient. Example: her: "what's your doctor's name?" Me: (whispering) "Reutinger." Her: "What?!" Without even turning around. Scott was really angry, and probably because he was more present, has an even worse impression of her than I do. Eventually we were taken up to the Maternal/Infant unit, and as soon as we got out of the elevator, a million memories rushed back from Lexi's birth. Stepping out of that elevator, crying from being overwhelmed and tired, meeting Alli...it was a really powerful moment. Alli and I talked a little about that day as we sat in the now empty waiting room, that had been so full that day. Soon they came to bring us to my room, and predictably, I had to pause halfway down the short hall to work through a contraction. As I breathed deeply, I heard the girl in the room we were outside ask about an epidural, and I said "yes please. I want an epidural!" The nurses all laughed, and it was then I discovered my room was directly next to the nurses station, which seemed like a plus. I finally made it to my room, changed into a gown, and went through all the fun of hundreds of questions and paperwork while getting an IV and working through increasingly painful contractions. I had the best support system though, and I'm so thankful for them. Yet again I'm thankful for Alli as a friend and a Doula. Her encouragement and humor are just perfect for me. One of my favorite moments from the pre-epidural time there was when the nurse asked Scott his name and then "is it ok if I call you Scott?" And Alli said "no, call me Big Daddy!" I about died laughing, though mostly on the inside. I made Scott and Alli laugh too, when the nurse went to listen to my lungs or something, and a contraction started so I was moaning which I guess got in the way of  her listening, so when she went to try again she said "don't make noise this time." I said "yeah, I'll try not to have a contraction..." (I mean, really?) After awhile I began feeling frustrated because I was in so much pain and I just wanted to rest. Where was my epidural? The nurse must have sensed my weariness because she explained that I had to have the whole bag of IV fluid before I could have the meds, but that it wouldn't be much longer. When the anaesthesiologist came in and was explaining the process, she said "and sometimes the medicine doesn't work as well as we'd like..." And I was thinking "oh HELL no!"  Then Scott and Alli left, and we got started. The contractions were awful, but I held as still as I could, and after a failed attempt at one space in my spine, the anaesthesiologist got everything all set, and I was positioned in bed, with one leg totally numb and control of the other. This made me nervous that the epidural wasn't going to work as well, and I was a bit unsettled awhile, until I could no longer feel the contractions at all. I dozed a little, then around 5 the doctor came in an broke my water. I'd need admitted at 4cm and I was now 5, less than 2h later, so that was good. I mostly rested until my new nurse, Annika came on at 7. I liked her from the start. I'm a little fuzzy on what happened over the next few hours because I really was resting and sleeping during this time. I know I had some oxygen (not as an emergency but as insurance), I had a "whiff" of pitocin,  and even that was turned off quickly. It was much less dramatic then this time during my labor with Lexi. Also, when I was admitted, if agreed to let students be part of my care on a case by case basis, and the first of the four I met during my stay was Marshall, a paramedic student. He was quiet and very polite and in and out a bit.We started using the peanut ball and I really feel like it made a huge difference!  Around 10:30 AM I've started to feel the urge to make a BM. I knew what this meant, and I was afraid that, since I could feel pressure from the catheter on each contraction, I'd feel all the pain while pushing, so I waited awhile to say anything-until it became so consuming I needed to say something. As soon as I did, Alli found Annika, who came and checked me, and just as expected, I was ready to push! Honestly, I wouldn't have been surprised to hear that his head was halfway out at that point, I felt so ready physically. Not so emotionally. I started bawling because I was tired and scared and overwhelmed and embarrassed. Everyone told me not to be embarrassed, and it was understandable. I was so thirsty, and Annika let Scott get ice chips to feed me, which he did all while I was pushing. Annika went to call Dr Reutinger, who apparently had no idea I was at the hospital, and was excited to come right over! We did some practice pushing, and were ready to roll when Dr R arrived. Marshall was back, and I felt proud to let him learn from my birth.The mood in my room was just so positive and encouraging and I could not have hoped for anything better. Alli applied some peppermint oil to my temples, and that made a world of difference in my mental clarity and calm, not long into pushing, we discovered that, as I all but assumed would be the case, Declan was sunny side up. Just like his sister. So this was gonna be long and hard. But I also was told I was a real great pusher, so that gave me drive and strength to go the distance. I pushed hard, and rested  well between contractions. It became apparent that Declan had lots of hair, though lighter than his sister's, and that started to give me a picture of him to focus on. I can't say enough about how much it meant to have Alli there encouraging me the whole time, and I have no words for the way I fell in love with Scott in a whole new way as he coached me through every push and held my leg. It was so very cool. One comedic moment was when Scott, who was on the side with my "dead" leg, let go after a contraction instead of placing it back on the stirrup thing, and it just flopped down. I had no control or way to fix it, and in that moment it was hilarious to me. After an hour and 45 min or so, Dr Reutinger encouraged me to let him use the vaccum to assist, because he felt that with a posterior baby, I'd progressed about as far as I could on my own. I was hesitant, because I knew the next step after that was surgery, but he assured me we were almost there and it wouldn't take much. He was right, and Declan was born on the second push of the first contractions with the vaccum. He cried right away, which made me bawl, because Lexi hadn't, and they handed him to me sooo quickly I was thrilled! I took one look and exclaimed "Holy Crap he looks like his Daddy!!!" Which made everyone laugh. I'm fuzzy after that, other than he was just perfect, and everything was perfect, had a ton of red (ok, strawberry blonde) hair, and I was overwhelmed and overjoyed at how it all went. There were some hurdles in recovery and nursing in the first week, but I couldn't be happier and more relieved at the birth experience we had. 

My Nephew Peter

So, on September 11, 1982, a baby boy was born who would grow to be the love of my life. How fitting that it was on the same date (32 years later) that another young man who would make my heart swell in ways that were new to even this emotional soul would make his entrance?

If you've followed our story this year you know that there has been a lot of emotion and sadness wrapped up in the word and month September for me, and particularly for the second week of the month, when the baby we lost would have been born. God works through our pain to bring beautiful things though. My Sister in Law Megan (yes, we have the same name. ;-)) shared what was my due date of Sept 9, and I just wasn't sure how I'd  feel if the baby came that day. But he didn't. He came 2 days later, right on time, to share a birthday with my favorite man on earth. 

We were leaving my doctor's office after a great checkup, hearing baby's heartbeat, and just feeling great, when Scott asked me (cautiously) if I was ready to go see the baby. Surprisingly to both of us, I was, and I was even excited! When we arrived at the door to their hospital room, I took a deep breath to prepare myself for whatever feels would come, but NEVER could I have been prepared for what I felt when Peter was placed in my arms. I fell in love. My heart swelled. I was healed. I cried, and could only blubber to Mike "he's so beautiful." Over and over. Any pain I expected never came. God set up a perfect morning to show me so much, about our baby and also just the magic of being an aunt to this sweet little man, who just by being him and looking just a teeny bit like his 2 year old cousin, healed something in me that I never expected. The pain of September is no more. I still feel sad for the loss, but I don't feel pain or anger, for the first time in almost 9 months. God used a boy not 12 hours old to do that, and I am so thankful. 

As a bonus, Lexi got to love on him too, and hear him cry (yay practice!) and even repeatedly tried to take and hold him herself! 

Just a few pics: 

Aaaah! Update! (16 weeks)

Ok, it's been far too long since I've updated. Let's just say it was an eventful month. The day after our 12 week appointment, we found out our dear (if not super close in recent years) friend Patrick Holyfield was days away from passing away from a fast moving and agressive cancer. Four days after that, he did. That week (and really, the few following it too) was/were brutal, and kicked up my anxiety, which had been less of a battle this time up to that point. I'm triggered, I've discovered by intense negative emotion, even unrelated, to fear for the baby, and this was a big issue. Then, I tried my new pregnancy workout, and had some after effects that weren't a cause for alarm, but made me feel anxious, so I've taken it a bit easier other than walking the past couple weeks. I plan on working the yoga back in and returning to my walks at the gym too. 

My doctor had said I *could* expect to feel the baby move as early as 14 weeks, and since then, I've been on high alert, and maybe a little bit desperate to start feeling what we in our home call "the bomps" . I think I've felt something fairly distinctive at least once or twice, but obviously at 16.5 weeks it's still early and baby is still pretty tiny (about 5 inches long) so, I'm trying to be patient and exercise my trust muscles. 

We had our 16 week appt last Friday (9/12/14) and it went perfectly. Belly is growing, blood pressure is good, and best of all, baby has a big healthy heartbeat! Yaaaaaay! Something else awesome happened that same morning, but it/he deserves his own post. 

Here's a couple pics! 

15 weeks:

16 weeks:

12 week OB visit for Lil Valentine

I wrote this post earlier and then got a phone call and lost it. *insert tears* So, here's hoping round 2 is just as eloquent.  *insert laughter*

So, today we visited my doctor for my 12 week visit to check on Lil Valentine, and I guess me too. It was easily the quickest we have ever flowed through the check in/triage/waiting/waiting in exam room/seeing the doctor process ever, which was really good, because even though my belly is growing and I have all the reason to feel confident about Lil Valentine's well being, we all know fear -especially irrational, lie based fear- is a struggle for me, and I've felt anxious off and on all week. Part of that is because this is the 12 week visit, and, even though all was well with Lexi at 12 weeks, the visit was scary. It went something like this: 

As Dr Reutinger readied the Doppler, he told me that sometimes at 12 weeks or wasn't possible to find the heartbeat with the Doppler, and in that case, he'd send me down the hall to get an ultrasound. After a few long minutes of searching, he said "well, you get to go see your baby! That'll be more fun anyway." (I love my doctor so much.) The next 15-20 minutes while we waited for that ultrasound were terrifying. However, as soon as the ultrasound tech touched my uterus, she said "Oh! I see the heartbeat with my naked eye already! Let me zoom in!" Lexi was totally fine, and looking much more like a baby than the month before. 

I still didn't want to relive that experience though. And according to the measurements from last month, this 12 week check would be 4 days sooner in baby's development (11w5d) than with Lexi (12w2d), so how could I expect to hear the heartbeat with the Doppler? so we prayed specifically that Dr Reutinger would find Lil Valentine's heartbeat with the Doppler and that the visit would be totally positive and smooth.

God is *so* good to us. 

Dr Reutinger said all my bloodwork and vitals look good, and we chatted about how I feel, and then he felt my belly and helped me feel the "lump" that is my growing bump, and said that was right on target. Then he gave me the same speech about the Doppler, and we listened. At first there was nothing. Then we heard a slow heartbeat, which was clearly mine, because it was far too slow. After a bit longer I started to become a bit afraid, but suddenly there it was. The most beautiful sound a pregnant mama can hear. We listened to Lil Valentine's heart a-beatin away for a good bit, and the rest of the chat with my doctor is kinda a blur now. God answered my weak and anxious prayers, and I am so thankful and humbled. 

This first trimester wasn't as free from fear as I'd maybe hoped, but I have to say that through prayer with Scott, on my own, reading and repeating scripture and truth, and the prayers of others, it's been far better than I expected. You know what else? Every time I have asked God for reassurance he has come through-not for proof, but for peace and confidence in his love for me. And he has answered every specific prayer for this baby so far, from the Doppler today, to a strong heartbeat a month ago, to a clear and not ambiguous at all pregnancy test in late June. I am so thankful and so blessed. 

It is sometimes hard for me to absorb and process the positive truth, particularly after I've been struggling with fear for awhile, so today required a lot of marinating on the blessing of that heartbeat and being past the first trimester (essentially) and the excitement that I'm only a few weeks away from feeling movements, and all the good stuff. Things are good. This is real, and I'm learning every day to bask in the truth and shut out the lies. 

11 weeks, 5 days, and as my mama said, "whoa girl! There it is!" 

Pregnancy Fitness

So, I've been holding off on this post to kinda sort things out with my energy level and my mind, which is honestly my biggest problem in pregnancy-I have it really easy physically, no symptoms to speak of, except more napping, and absolutely no morning sickness. But mentally/emotionally, it's a battle. The losses we've suffered combine with my battle against the lies I've shared that haunt my mind into a crapstorm some days. So far it hasn't been as bad as with Lexi, and I'm hoping it'll stay that way, with a combination of prayer, staying in God's word, and reminding myself of what's true. 

So, fitness. Early in my pregnancy (before I knew) I had modified my cycle performance to try to keep my heart rate lower, and planned to stick with that and the Jillian Michaels workouts I was doing through my first trimester. Well, the same week I found out I was pregnant (probably not coincidentally) my sleep schedule got all messed up and I just wasn't getting up early enough to work out. Also, when I went to cycle class, I experienced cramping through and for about two hours after class. Now, I knew that most likely this wasn't a problem, as exercise causes uterine contractions even when we aren't pregnant, we just don't feel them. However, with my anxiety issues, I knew I should back off, for my own sanity. Boy was that frustrating. So, since then, I've been waking for the hour I would be in cycle class, and averaging about 3.5-4 miles in that hour. 

Yesterday I tried out a new prenatal yoga DVD, and loved it. I'm sore today, which feels amazing, and I feel like I've built a great prenatal fitness library that shod keep me strong and not bored the next 6.5 months or so. :-)

My plan for the next few weeks is to practice yoga 4 days a week, walk at the gym twice a week, and be as generally active with the family as weather and energy will allow.

Starting late August or early September, I'll work my Andrea Orbeck Pregnancy Sculpt workout into the rotation twice a week and start varying the yoga between the different DVDs I have. I have calendars mapped out for the rest of my pregnancy. Because I'm a planner like that.  I feel like this will keep me strong and prepared for birth and as smooth a bounce back as possible. 

I'll try to blog regularly about how all this is going, physically, mentally, emotionally, and probably share pictures. I definitely want more of a record of this pregnancy experience than I created last time. I can't believe it's almost 1/4 of the way over! 

Here's my little bump: (it's really hard to photograph so please excuse my face! 

Ladybug Girl, Age Two.

How is it you're already turning two years old? It was mere moments ago I felt you wiggling inside me, wasn't it? Seems like I just saw your sweet face the first time, seconds after you met the world, before the cord that connected us was even cut. How is it that our first nursing was two years ago, and our last five months ago? That primal moment when you were fresh from my womb and I kissed your head and smelled your hair and knew you were *mine*, and all I had waited for. I can still smell that moment if I close my eyes. I hope I always can.  

Alexandra, Lexi, Lil Bug, Peanut, Cookie. You answer to so many names, because your Mama is fond of nicknames, and that's fine with you. You are the sweetest, most affectionate, tender soul I've ever met, and your capacity to love others and bring Joy and sunshine into their lives astounds me. You love openly, freely, without reservation or fear of rejection,  and it inspires me to love more like you, because even at barely two, you love like Jesus. You were fifteen months old when I was first told how a baby was crying in the nursery and you ran to find a toy to comfort her. Daily you sweep me away with not only being the cuddliest cuddle bug this cuddly mama ever dreamed, but capable of the sweetest moments of spontaneous affection I've ever experienced. I love when you reach up and pull my face down  to kiss, or when we are at the park and you stick your face between bars and pucker up until i meet you there. Everyone who knows you knows you are the sweetest and most joyful child ever, and I'm so glad and blessed beyond words to get to be the primary beneficiary of that! 

You are two, and even you have some rebellion and sass in you. I'm praying for wisdom and strength to know when and how to discipline you, because I'm a softy, and you are terribly sensitive. I'm learning daily what battles to pick, and how when you seem you be extra mischievous, you're really just asking for more attention and focus. I'm learning as you learn, Sweet Bug, and we will be patient with each other. 

As I have always dreamed, but never dared actually ask God, you are the ultimate girly girl. You love having your hair done, particularly in "Baid" (braids) and ask daily for some of mama's makeup. Your favorites are,  "Bip?" (lipstick), "cheek?" (Blush stick) , and "pahko!" (Sparkle eyeshadow). I love it. You get so excited about new clothes and shoes and I laugh when you strut and dance around because you feel pretty. I love the humongous grin showing all your teeth and sparkle in those green eyes when I tell you are the most beautiful. Because you are, my love, inside and out. 

You're learning so quickly, and sometimes I realize that I can try to direct and focus what you learn, but you are gonna pick up and run with concepts I never even concieved of! I have been working on colors with you, and you're getting there, but yesterday you picked up a white crayon and announced "WHITE!" My jaw dropped, because, though I've read color books with you over and over, *I* have never taught you white. Now you show me that crayon over and over to impress me. You like making your Dadda and I proud, and I hope we do a good job of letting you know how proud we are of who you are every step along the way. I love watching you learn and grow and develop new skills. 

You definitely inherited the music gene, probably mostly from Dadda, but I hope a little from me too. You love to sing and play instruments, and I love to listen. Lately you've been very into me singing to you during cuddles, and also having me sing silly songs for you to dance to. I love making those memories with you. 

Watching you with your dolls and with babies you meet, I see clearly that you are very nurturing and maternal. When we gave you your baby penguin plush the other day, your first instinct was to lift your shirt and nurse it.  I'm so excited to see your loving and tender self as a big sister soon. You will be so sweet and helpful and love the baby so much! You already like to kiss my belly. You like to tell me also that you are gonna be a big sister like Elsa! 

 We don't watch a ton of TV, but you are passionate about the few things we do watch. You love Blue's Clues, Color Crew, Clifford, Daniel Tiger, Frozen, and of course, Gobble Gobble! (free birds). I love watching you enjoy these characters and sing and dance along.

Your favorite books are, "Little Blue Truck", its sequel, all the Ladybug Girl books, all your Sesame Street books, your word books that we use to practice talking, and most of all, your bible. You ask for it constantly and also carry around my first bible, a white New Testament given to me in 1986. I pray you'll always be so passionate and connected to God's word. 

Our family has really enjoyed the Zoo this year so far, and I look forward to many more trips! You especially enjoy the prairie dogs, Bears, tigers, cheetahs, budgies, Penguins, and all the animals you can feed and pet. 

Lexi Bella, I could go on about you forever. I am so honored to be your mama, and watch you grow, and teach you new things. This next year is going to be a new adventure, but I know it's going to be wonderful to adventure with you, my heart.  I love you. 

Lil Valentine: the story so far.

So, I've been quiet about this the past few weeks, but WE ARE HAVING A BABY!  We went to see my doctor yesterday, had a perfect ultrasound, saw the baby, saw and heard a beautiful and strong 165 bpm heartbeat, and were told that everything looks perfect! Our Estimated Due Date is March 1, so I'm saying February, and calling this baby my "Lil Valentine". I've always wanted a February baby, because nobody on either side of our family has a birthday in that month! 

So, here's the story so far: when I didn't get pregnant in April from our first round of Clomid, I was really discouraged and sad. But we felt like God put this desire for another child on our hearts, so I took the clomid again and we tried again. I'll admit, I wasn't super hopeful, but I kept praying and fighting to trust God. 

June 17 was the day I expected my period, and I decided to go ahead and take a pregnancy test that day, even though I had no symptoms. I woke up at 4:30 in the morning needing to use the bathroom, and thought "well, guess this is it!" And went ahead and tested. The test looked negative in those first moments, and I went back to bed, a little dejected. Now, in the few more hours I slept, I had *two* dreams that the test turned positive before I looked at it again. So, when I woke up, I looked at the test again. Sure enough, there was a faint but visible second line. I showed Scott, who saw the line too. But you know, the instructions say ignore any change after ten minutes...so we decided to test again in a week.

Over the next week I prayed a lot, pouring out the desires of my heart to God, but also asking Him to give me peace and patience for His timing.  Toward the end of the week, this became my mantra when my heart would feel heavy: "when God decides to give us another baby, nothing is going to be able to interfere with that." And I felt much less nervous about what the outcome of that next test would be. I continued asking God for a baby, but also began to rest in knowing His timing is perfect. 

On June 24, I woke up at 2:38 AM and had to use the bathroom. Again, I thought "well, guess I have to test now!" And I did. This time though, as I watched the test develop (I've tried countless times not to look till 2 min and nave never succeeded), I had to blink and run my half asleep eyes as I watched a second line appear on the test. It was just like the day we found out about Lexi, and just like that day, Scott was skeptical till he saw it himself. Then, his second reaction was "Woman, why did you have to do this at 2:30 in the morning? I have to go to work!" Oops. So, we tried, not too successfully, to get some more sleep. 

Because we don't know (and will never know) what caused our early losses, I wanted to be proactive but not paranoid this time. I called my doctor and asked if he thought I needed to supplement progesterone, and he ordered a blood test to see. I wasn't anxious, because if there was a problem, it was easily solved. But, in light of all we've been through this year, and the fact that again, I have no big glaring pregnancy symptoms (just like with Lexi), the fear started to creep in. The blood test had been on Tuesday, and Thursday morning I was crying out to God for help, for peace, for the ability to trust Him, because my fragile trust was shattered back in January, and I knew but needed to really *know* that this God I put all my hope in is worthy of my trust, even though I don't always understand the way things go. I was praying and crying out for help, when the phone rang. It was my doctor-not one of his nurses, who usually call to follow up, but my actual doctor. He told me that my bloodwork looked great! My progesterone was good and so was my pregnancy hormone. Praise God! My body was doing everything it should! The number he gave me for my pregnancy hormone level was higher than it ever was in January, so that was awesome too. And that call came exactly as I was asking God for reassurance. Amazing. 

The next 3 weeks passed very uneventfully, with many naps and varying levels of anxiety. I have an incredible circle of women (and a few men) who are patiently supporting me and encouraging  me and praying for us, and I am so thankful for all of them. I know God is blessing our baby through their prayers, and I thank God and ask his blessings on them daily. 

Yesterday's appointment was perfect, I feel good, if a little tired, and I can't wait to share this journey and this baby with all of you!